Happy -happy-happy birthday, right from me to you! [faye-faye]

[radical_cowgirl]

[Dated August 14th]

Edward had planned everything. She hoped. She remembered birthdays from living with the Sister. She always tried to remember them and make something special for the kid having the "special day". Not that Edward really understood what made it so special, it was just another day, but if it meant the Sister made extra-special food, Edward was not going to argue.

After a trip to the bookshelf, Edward had found a magazine with a picture of a birthday party. It was very different from the birthdays Edward remembered, but she had tried her best, getting up early-early and putting up all the colorful paper cut-outs she had made the day before. She had made little hats for each of them, and she even sent Ein to go bother the Spike-person since she knew that Faye-Faye didn't like barking in the morning.

With a hat on her head, she crept into Faye-Faye's bedroom, holding a muffin she'd appropriated from the bakery. She hadn't found a real candle, but Edward had managed to make a paper one that was almost as good. Faye-Faye was going to have the best birthday, Edward would make sure. Taking a deep breath, she started singing at the top of her lungs, "Happy-happy-birthday, right from me to you. I hope you have a great day, and a great year too! Happy-happy-birthday..."

She thought it would be a nice way to wake up, so she kept going.

Comments

[attitude]

If there was anything that Faye had come to appreciate about the island, it was that she could sleep whenever and wherever she wanted. Early mornings had never been very enjoyable to Faye, even back in the days when she spent her days wandering around Singapore and looking for her next adventure. Mornings had always been best spent curled up in bed, enjoying the warmth of a home and the luxury of time, and Faye made a point of indulging herself time and again even after having taken up a job as a bounty hunter. Still, on Bebop, regular sleep had been rare, their bounties too quick and too loud to allow for such indulgence.

On the island, on the other hand, there seemed to be little chance to do anything else.

Which was why Faye was surprised when she was woken from sleep while the sun had yet to reach its full height, light filtering in and persistent with the sound. Groaning, Faye turned over, trying to hide herself under relatively heavy covers, before Ed's words and melody finally struck and she sat up, peeking from behind drowsy eyes.

"Oh, god. I told you my birthday while I was all born again?" she sighed, shaking her head and trying her best to sit up straight. "Great."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward stopped mid-song, her jaw hanging open as she looked at Faye. Had she made a mistake? Had she...

Oops. Faye-Faye liked to sleep. Faye liked to sleep a lot and Edward had just woken her up. She knew she'd forget something and it had to be that. Edward suddenly felt bad.

"But... Edward has a muffin? For Faye-Faye's birthday. We celebrate them, the Sister and all the books said so."

She wanted this day to be really good for Faye.

[attitude]

There was something about that look which wrenched in Faye's gut, twisting in the way that guilt did— and she felt no small amount of irritation at the fact. For years, she had only needed to look after herself, not needed to answer to anyone. Even Bebop had been free enough on that front, Spike and Jet honestly not often giving a damn what she did, so long as she came back relatively intact. (At least, she was pretty sure that the two of them had cared that much, being the decent people that they sometimes were.) But now, now she lived with a teenager, with one that had no small amount of affection to share, which Faye felt utterly unprepared to offer in turn.

She did try, however, and for Edward, it was on a regular basis. With a deep sigh, Faye pulled her sheets to the side, shuffling to one half of the bed to allow Ed space on the other.

"Sometimes, you can't trust the books," Faye told Edward, rubbing at her eyes. "And I'll tell you this much, Edward— after a certain number of years, girls stop celebrating birthdays. I think I passed that number several decades ago."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward climbed on the bed, sitting quietly with the muffin still in her hand.

"Why? Edward likes parties, and Faye-Faye likes presents, so why not celebrate?"

Birthdays were about being happy and being with friends. Edward was Faye's friend so Edward was in charge of the party. Right?

Edward was confused and she didn't like it. People were funny, they were always changing their minds, always making things different. (Leaving Edward behind.) Computers were simple, they did what they were told and if they didn't it was Edward's fault, not the computers. But people, Edward couldn't figure them out. Except for the kids, she was good with the kids because they just wanted to play and collect fingernails.

Looking at Faye, she had to ask. If she was programmed wrong, she just had to re-program herself, right? "Did Edward do the wrong thing?"

[attitude]

Edward never tended to ask the same types of questions that other people did, especially other children her age. And in moments like these, Faye couldn't help but note, as she had so many times before, how unlikely it was that all of them ha come together the way they had, happened across each other on Bebop, misfits and outcasts, whether by circumstance or self-exile. But there was no one that Faye felt for more than Edward. The rest of them, they'd all lived their childhoods with family, with people they could call their own.

But Edward's father...

Although her expression remained neutral, Faye reached out to take the muffin from Edward's hand, holding it in her palm and staring at the pastry. "Edward did the right thing," she reassured with a wry smile. "I guess I was just surprised, that's all. I haven't celebrated my birthday in many, many years, Edward." She glanced up, a few strands of hair falling in front of her eyes.

"Do you know what happened to me, Ed? All those years ago?"

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Faye-Faye lived by the waterfall."

It was in the beta tape, the waterfall and the happy girl that Edward met when she was Françoise again. It was a good life, Edward could see that, she had a father-person and a mother-person and friends and everything Edward had read about. And there was the story that the Jet-person told the man-man at the desk of the hospital they sneaky-snuck into.

Families. Edward didn't have one except for the father-person and he... he wasn't here.

"And then Faye fell asleep for a really long time."

[attitude]

"I lived by the waterfall, and then... I was in an accident," Faye agreed, tilting her head and letting her hair fall to the side, where it had grown far past her shoulders. After years, she thought to herself, of keeping her locks short, now she was able to pull it into a considerable ponytail. She hadn't cut a single strand since arriving on the island, and in that sense, her hair was now testament to her time on the island. Proof of how much she'd assimilated. Pressing her lips together, dark green eyes glanced up towards Edward again. "Up in space, before they really knew what they were doing. And then I fell asleep for a very, very long time."

Pausing, Faye pulled the paper candle out of the cupcake, setting it down to the side before she split the pastry in two, handing one half over to Edward. "When I woke up, I didn't remember anything. Not my name, not where I was from... certainly not my birthday. Faye Lee was born many years ago, on this day. Faye Valentine's birthday was, well. When I woke up in that cryogenic chamber. It's just confusing, Ed. That's why I normally don't celebrate either birthday. But this is—"

She paused, allowing herself to swallow her emotions down.

"This is nice."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward watched Faye-Faye closely, very worried that something was wrong. Even when she passed over part of the cupcake Edward just held it while she listened. This was grown-up stuff, it was important and even if Edward didn't understand it, she understood that. Because Faye wasn't smiling and she wasn't rolling her eyes like she did when she was pretending to be mad, it was... serious.

Even when Faye stopped talking Edward didn't say anything right away. Even though Faye-Faye was saying it was nice, she wasn't happy and that's what Edward wanted. Birthdays were happy times.

"Edward is sorry she confused Faye. Edward just wants Faye-Faye to be happy on her birthday. They're happy days."

[attitude]

"Happy, huh..."

Faye's eyes grew distant at the very thought. She could remember the feeling of it, happiness, seared so much more strongly into her memory now that she'd experienced it only a short while ago, packaged back in the body of a clueless teenager, one wanting nothing more than adventure, and an escape from a family that Faye would have done anything, now, to get back. Happiness wasn't something that she'd have, not to that degree. But how to fool Ed?

How to fool anyone, really, or assure them that Faye was fine for it? She didn't need... any of it. A family, a past. A home.

"Well," she concluded, pulling herself out of her reverie and lounging on the bed. "It's better than I've been in weeks, anyhow. So when's your birthday, Ed? And what would you want to do to celebrate?"

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Edward?" She pointed at herself, trying to remember. She had the birthday, she knew it once. When was it? She looked off to the side as she tried to remember, realizing that she usually just looked it up on her Tomato. The computer knew a lot more about her than Edward did.

But finally it came to her and she smiled, "Edward was born in the wintery-cold day, the seventh, a prime number. It was in January. One-seven-two-zero-five-eight. That's Edward's day." And with that supreme accomplishment, she stuffed the cake in her mouth, chewing and swallowing. "Edward is a Capricorn!"

Not that she knew what that meant, she just remembered someone saying it once.

[attitude]

It seemed like an awfully long process just to remember one's birthday, and Faye's lips pursed as she listened, wondering Edward had last celebrated her own birthday. Likely not for years, she thought quietly, not unless Edward had brought her birthday to the attention of the kindly woman in charge of the orphanage, and something told Faye that Edward wouldn't have done such a thing. Throughout the months that they'd spent together on Bebop, Edward had never purposely called a lot of attention to herself, often taking little measures to please the others in the crew.

How different from Faye's own life, and how strangely guilt twisted at her heart at the very thought of it. Of course, she wouldn't even try to deny the fact that her own life had seen loss— but at least she'd had that time.

"Capricorn, huh. I think my sign is Leo... but I never looked very much into it. Don't believe that things are written in the stars anymore," she grinned, before breaking off a piece of her cupcake and chewing thoughtfully. "We'll have to plan something big for your next birthday."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Really?"

Edward looked at her, wide-eyed and surprised. No one had ever asked her when her birthday was, or even volunteered to do anything special with her. That was a family thing and Edward had never had a family. She still didn't, didn't she? Or did she? Chessmaster Toly-man was like a father-person. Faye-Faye was like... well, like Faye-Faye. Was that a family?

[attitude]

Faye quirked a brow, wondering if it really was so difficult to believe that she'd want to put together a party for the girl— the more she thought about it, though, the more she could understand Edward's feeling of surprise. The bounty hunter had never been especially affectionate, more caught up in her own affairs, or in the bounties that she was about to chase after that day, than concerned with how the kid and the dog were doing back home. Maybe, if they'd stayed up in space, Faye still wouldn't have been able to give the notion of a party a second thought.

But things were different on Tabula Rasa. She smiled faintly.

"Really," she replied with a raise of her brow. "I've got plenty of experience with birthday parties for girls. I'm sure we'll come up with something."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

She looked at Faye, a slight smile crossing her features. It wasn't like her normal grins, from ear to ear and full of teeth, it was a little sheepish, unsure. It matched how she felt. It wasn't like the others to do things nice for Edward, they're usually too busy asking her for things. But she figured since they really didn't have anything to do, it made a little sense. There just wasn't time before. It was nice to be remembered and it made her feel things that she couldn't identify. It even made her voice waver when she answered, "Thank you, Faye-Faye."

She shook it off and jumped off the bed. "Edward remembers, Edward has presents! Wait here!"

[attitude]

Faye didn't need to be reminded twice of all that she'd had in her life that Edward hadn't. Even now, her own gaze faltered at the thought of it, remembering the happy cries of children as they circled around the sister, digging into meager bowls of stew. (Not that Faye had much better as a hunter— not consistently— but when she was a kid, everything was provided for. Every last whim, no matter how frivolous.) It was impossible for Faye to deny that life had slighted her, but by god, it was all relative. Edward kept on reminding her of that.

And as much as she knew that heartbreak would only await those who never knew pain, maybe for Edward, it could be different. For a girl who had never had anyone who stayed, all those years, maybe Faye could be... better than nothing.

"Oh boy," she breathed, allowing herself a shaky grin, as though to practice for the stronger one she knew she had to wear as soon as Edward returned. "Am I going to like this, Ed? You didn't just decide to be cute and wrap Ein in ribbons, right?"

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Faye-Faye doesn't like ribbons?" She stood in the doorway, holding in her hands head-band and a couple of clips she'd scrounged from the box. She'd covered them with bright ribbons, so they looked nicer. At least to Edward. There were also a couple other ribbons that she was giving Faye so she could tie her hair back, even a feathery one that she pulled off a top in the box. They were supposed to be like the band she always wore on the Bebop, things to tie her hair back because she couldn't fight or do all the Faye-things when her hair was in her eyes.

Edward thought it was a good gift, like things she already had. That way Edward didn't have to worry about her liking it only.... Had Edward gotten it wrong again?

[attitude]

There was a slight look of surprise on Faye's face as Edward emerged again, carrying... well, the sort of things that Faye could be expected to wear, back during their time on Bebop. Faye hadn't known what to expect, exactly, as soon as Edward had declared that she had collected presents, but she certainly hadn't expected anything quite so fitting, with careful thought worked in, that certainly would have taken Edward no small amount of time. (The clothes box was, after all, rather fretful, and had been increasingly so ever since the opening of the Boutique.) Faye did her best, however, to keep the surprise to her eyes alone.

She wasn't cut out for this. Being anything that even remotely resembled a mother, sister... guardian.

She really wasn't at all.

"I like ribbons just fine," she replied at last with a grin. "All I meant was that all the ribbons in the world can't hide a silly gift. Ein would be a pretty silly gift to give, wouldn't he? Now. My presents?" Raising a brow, she held a lazy hand out, expectant.

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward... didn't quite understand all of that. She thought Ein would be a great gift, she'd love to get Ein as a present, but then Ein didn't belong to anyone. Ein belonged to Ein, always had and always would, Edward wouldn't change that for anything. But Faye-Faye looked okay, so maybe Edward had done good. So like the good person she was she bounded across to the bed and dropped all the pretty things into her hands.

"Can Faye-Faye show Edward how to wear them someday?" The ribbons had been the best she could do. She looked and looked for the polishes that Faye had used back on the Bebop, but to no avail. These were good, and they wouldn't chip like the paint did.

[attitude]

"If you really want to wear one of these..." Faye considered, setting the ribbons down by her side and then reaching out for Edward's shoulders, coaxing the young girl to sit down on the bed and next to Faye herself, "I'll have to make a few adjustments first." Idly, she began to remember how things had been for Faye herself when her mother had started teaching her how to dress, both for herself and to leave an impression. Surely, her mother wouldn't have been all too pleased to find Faye's wardrobe to be the way it was today, but the basics that she took away from those years were all the same. Skills that kept even in spite of a lack of memory.

Reaching for a brush and a small coconut shell that held a light, scented oil, Faye began to work with Ed's hair, trying to tame it down from the mess of tangles and frizz it usually was. "Hold still."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward sat as still as she could, which wasn't really since she was excited. This was so much better than when the Jet-person made her wear that dress, it was Faye-Faye, she was playing with Edward and doing Faye-things instead of just having Ed paint her toenails. This was doing something to Edward and that was much better.

"That smells pretty-pretty, Faye-Faye, what is it?" She tried to turn her head for a look and then realized that she wasn't supposed to move and froze in place, half-turned.

[attitude]

Patiently, Faye coaxed Edward's head until she faced forward again, not wanting to be the cause for a crick in the neck that might somehow hinder all of Edward's strange and usual acrobatics. Finding that Edward's hair wasn't quite long enough to pull into decent pigtails, Faye simply worked on calming and detangling the hair, until it hung down in a manner not unlike her own, when it'd been shorter. Recently, Faye's hair had grown out in a way that she had never let it while a bounty hunter. She was considering having it cut again.

Familiarity in the little things.

"Palm oil," Faye replied quietly, pouring a little more into her hand before she held the shell out in front of Edward for the girl to see. "Mixed with lavender for scent. It repairs damaged hair, gives it a bit of shine. Tends to relax it, too."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Edward let her head be turned, it was easy enough and it was so important to have Faye-Faye paying attention to her that the woman could turn Edward on her head and she'd be okay with it. The Sister used to try and comb Edward's hair, but she never sat still for it, the Sister was nice but she was, well, the Sister-person. This was Faye-Faye, who was so pretty and smart and strong that Ed couldn't believe it sometimes. And while it wasn't of utmost importance yet, Ed wanted to be pretty like Faye someday.

"Can Ed see yet? Is Edward pretty now?"

[attitude]

A smile passed over Faye's face in spite of herself. Just a brief flicker, before it sobered again, intent as she was on providing... something, to Edward. Stability, she was hoping. But she'd settle for happiness, for now, while time still wasn't weighing in her favor quite yet. "Lesson number one," she replied, cocking a brow. "Patience. Almost there." Settling a few more stubborn tufts of hair, Faye reached for one of the headbands Edward had procured. Black. A dark color against a bright one, the opposite of her own general scheme.

Reaching back for the make-up compact she'd kept with her on Redtail, Faye dangled it in front of Edward's eyes for the girl to take.

"It's going to take regular treatment if you really want your hair to relax. But, on occasion, this could be a start."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

Taking the compact Edward opened it hesitantly, like it was going to bite her. She didn't really know what she looked like, mirrors weren't exactly anything she really looked at. So far as Ed knew or usually cared, so long as she didn't smell and she could get her fingers through her hair, she was usually fine. But being pretty was important to Faye-Faye, and so Ed wanted it to be important to her, too.

Looking inside, Ed blinked. "This isn't Edward anymore."

[attitude]

"Oh, it's still you," Faye tried to reassure Edward straight off the bat, though there was an uncomfortable twinge in her stomach, one which wondered if perhaps she'd gone a little too far. Personally, she thought that the look was... objectively, an improvement. Maybe it didn't fit the personality that Ed had, always wandering around everywhere, not necessarily with rhyme or reason, but there was always a time and a place for a look like the one she'd just teased out of Edward's hair, and she hoped that the girl realized that. "Just a different look, that's all."

Still, she found herself asking. "Like it? Or is it too much?"

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Ed doesn't know." Which was the simple truth. The look was very different, her entire life she'd never spent any time on her appearance. She wore what she could find, cleaned up only when she had to, and ignored the looks people gave her. She didn't need them anyway.

Here was different. Here people needed each other. Chessmaster Toly-man needed his kids, so he played chess with Edward to feel better. Circus-girl and Coraline needed to laugh and play so Edward played with them and laughed with them. Faye-Faye needed... well, Ed was working on that, but for now she could do birthdays.

Edward didn't know if she needed anything yet, not really (okay, so maybe she did a little, but that wasn't anyone's business but Edward's). So she was going to keep on being the things other people needed, like on the Bebop.

"If Faye-Faye likes it, Edward likes it." She smiled, putting her uncertainty back behind the big wall. It could hide there until later.

[attitude]

Slumping further back on the bed, Faye laughed, a soft sound as her hair splayed over the pillow. Keeping up an appearance was always a painstaking process, but it wasn't one that Faye had been built with from the start. There was once a time when she allowed herself to wear whatever she had, whatever her mother chose for her, simply being fortunate enough to have hair that remained relatively tamed throughout it all. But that time was no longer. These days, every morning was a process, of putting on a mask, of making sure that it remained secure.

Faye honestly wasn't sure if she wanted that for Edward.

"I'll like it once you like it," she replied glibly, curving an arm under her head. "Frankly, if it's not something you want to do every day, then don't. Sooner or later, you'll know how you want to dress, how you want to look. Until then, there's nothing wrong with the way you look now."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"How does Ed know?"

Faye-Fay wasn't making much sense to Ed. If someone didn't tell Edward how she looked how would she know if she liked it? Liking things was Fay-Faye's job, she always let Ed know if she liked something or didn't, and even then Ed got it wrong sometimes. Like the polish. She said she didn't want blue, but that's what Ed had put on her toes once. But Faye didn't get angry and Ed never did it again. But blue was bad, so Ed didn't like it either. Not on toes, anyway.

She really didn't understand the adult-people sometimes, well, most of the time. She wished someone would just tell her all the things so she wouldn't get the looks she got. The crazy-strange looks. Ed should stick to computers.

[attitude]

"You'll know," Faye reassured, even as she knew that the explanation itself was lacking. But what other way was there to put it? Identity wasn't something that could be haphazardly tossed around, wasn't something that one could precisely shape for anyone else. For Ed to be truly happy with her identity, she'd have to chase down the surety herself. It felt like so long ago, now, since Faye had last questioned the little details, the cut of her hair or the color of her clothes. Everything that she'd toiled over ran deeper than that.

Clothes were just to paint the picture. What laid underneath, that was far more difficult to pin down.

"We're all just trying to figure who we are. What feels right. What feels real," Faye continued lightly. "Go with your instincts."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"But Ed wants to know now."

It would be easier if someone just told her all the things. She wasn't a patient person, except with chess. But chess was different. She didn't want to try and try and try and try, it sounded boring.

"Can Faye-Faye help?"

[attitude]

"Well... I can try," Faye conceded with a purse of her lips, though she reached out to gently brush through Edward's hair again, wondering how best to explain it all. It wasn't an easy concept. It wasn't direct, it wasn't black and white in a way that Edward seemed most prone to dealing in. "But Edward, you have to learn some patience, too. It's not a card that I can just pull out of a hat."

Her gaze brushed over the ceiling. "Becoming an adult is difficult business."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"How does Edward do it?"

She tried to stay still, she really did, but she couldn't help shift a little under the attention. If there was a trick to being an adult-person she'd learn it. She had to. If Edward wanted to stop being crazy-Edward and be adult-Edward she she had to get started.

[attitude]

"If I told you, that would not only be ineffective, it would also be cheating," Faye pointed out with a raise of her brow, watching as Edward fidgeted, no doubt uncomfortable with the idea of having to wait. If there was one thing that she'd learned in the time that she'd known Edward, it was the fact that the young girl really did have a tendency of running a mile a minute in every way.

And that she needed answers.

"You do it just by living, Edward, it's not exactly something that can be planned out for you."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Fine, if Edward has to wait, Edward will wait. Ed can wait. Ed can do anything."

She hoped. This growing up business, so serious, so confusing, Ed just didn't know how she would deal with it.

Maybe there was someone else she could talk to. Maybe the Toly-man. He was like the father-person and father-people were supposed to be wise. Ed would maybe talk to him. If she remembered.

"What does Faye-Faye want to do with the rest of the day? It's your birthday, Faye-Faye gets to decide."

[attitude]

Whether or not Edward really believed it, Faye didn't know. She hoped that Edward could. There had been a time when Faye believed that anything was possible, if only she spared the time, if only she was patient. An idealistic train of thought which still remained in her, though it was buried, tempered, almost bent out of shape. It wasn't a matter that she wanted to dwell too much on, not that day, and so she reached out to run her fingers through Edward's hair, ruffling it just a touch, though she left the hair ribbon where it was.

"Let's go swimming," Faye decided, eyes narrowed in thought. "Closest thing we'll get to weightlessness, anyway, around here. And better than staying cooped up in the hut all day."

[radical-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yay!"

She couldn't exactly swim, but Edward was one heck of a floater. And a splasher. But the water was fun and Faye-Faye was right, it was nice being weightless. For a little while. It wasn't like space, but it was still fun.

Bouncing off the bed, Edward headed out the door to get her swimming clothes. She paused only long enough to pause at the door and look back.

"Happy Birthday, Faye-Faye!"